Monday, August 27, 2012

Self-Esteem and Happiness

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” - Eleanor Roosevelt

The way we see ourselves is a key factor to our success on the accomplishments of our goals. High self-esteem is a very important quality for developing happiness, fulfillment, rich relationships, and overall success in life.

Many of us confuse having high self-esteem with ego. This is a misconception of this quality so important in our development. A person that lives on a self-centered mode or what we call ego, obsessed with themselves and usually obtain their fulfillment at the expense of others; usually people that are self-centered do not possess high self-esteem. They always feel that they are not enough, a void in their heart that will not allow them to reach any success or fulfillment unless they sabotage the happiness of others.

On the other hand, high self-esteem means being competent and capable to share our blessings at the same time that we can appreciate and honor the blessings of others. This acceptance brings joy, good relationships, love, fulfillment, and all the positive qualities that we attract when we are living our lives understanding that we are unique and that others around us are as unique in their own way as we are. This possibility of living our life is priceless.  

Negative self talk many times becomes part of our personality because we think that this is what will protect us from the world that we perceive as harmful to us. We do not feel competent or lovable enough to obtain what we want to receive and that self-sabotage talk is the excuse that we develop to explain our lack of success of our goals or our lack of positive relationships. Those excuses are the signal for us that we are living in fear, anger or any dysfunctional state that is in the way of our success.  We adopt the talk of self-pity, a dysfunctional talk from a victim perspective. I compare this negative self-sabotage talk to the mean girls that we all witnessed when we were in high school. We bully ourselves… and from my stand point of view, that is not a very healthy way to live.

So the question is “how can I elevate my self-esteem? The most important step will be to develop awareness to the self-sabotage talk that you might have every single day.

Practice every day these principles in your life. Make them part of your daily routine:

  1. Validate yourself --- not only on your accomplishments, but on also on your failures.
  2. Learn from your experiences and enjoy every opportunity to learn.
  3. Have gratitude for the blessings in life. Gratitude is key to appreciate and to love.
  4. Accept that the world is an endless source of abundance if you believe in yourself.
  5. Expect success, happiness, good relationships in your life; be open to receive.
  6. Commit yourself to your goals with a vision of success without being attached to any result.
  7. Empower yourself to win without diminishing others.
  8. Forgive yourself for any error that you made in the past and use the experience to grow.
  9. Learn empathy for your flaws and imperfections; that is what makes you human.
  10. Be patient with yourself.
Louis Hay, a person that I greatly admire, recently mentioned on a seminar I attended that her daily practice every morning, after brushing her teeth, was to look herself in the mirror and say to the image in the mirror - “You are SPECIAL, you are UNIQUE, you are LOVABLE, you are SMART… and I LOVE YOU”.  What a great time to work on your self-esteem... no makeup, no beautiful clothes, no jewelry, just the beautiful inside of you, the really you... I think that this is a great practice. Remember, practice makes perfection and we all are a work in progress.

You have to reach the point where you understand that you are not perfect, nobody is…..

Let’s work to elevate that self-esteem in order to obtain transformation in our lives! Be the best you can be because you are worth it!!!

By:  Evelyn Torres for AwarenessWisdom

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