Sunday, April 14, 2013


Yep, you are reading right.... that’s what we will be discussing.... HAPPINESS CONSTIPATION. How many people are suffering from this condition without even being aware.

Dr. Robert Holden, PH.D. in his book Shift Happens! (again, Yep, you are reading right, SHIFT with an F)...well, back to Dr. Holden, in his book he says “If you think something is missing in your life; it is probably more of the real you! This is his theory on the matter: when you look to be complete and happy by doing self improvement, you are buying all the tickets to the concert of misery. Why? --- because this perfect person will never arrive; there will always be something else to improve -- you will never arrive. He expands his theory by explaining how different your life is when you understand the difference between self-improvement vs. self-acceptance. HOW EMPOWERING THAT IS!!! and wow!

Self-acceptance doesn't mean that you do not want improvement in your life, on the contrary, we all want to be better. The key difference is that when you have self-acceptance in you, the starting point is on the fact that you know your flaws and defects, but you accept them, sometimes even make fun of them (this is the best approach, trust me), and then with that sense of humor, you emerge happy and better.  A teacher recently said “the best comedy show you will find in life is you... There is always material for a script”. Learn to live like this, and you will laugh more every single day.

Don’t wait for happiness and enjoy happiness NOW. You can say "I will be happy in 6 months when I finish my college degree", then "I will be happy in 6 months when I find the perfect job", then you need more time and "I will be happy in 6 months when I find the big house I can afford with the big salary I will have on the perfect job". Then, you go out to read everything you can about happiness, about unhappiness, about sadness and that is when the CONSTIPATION begins. You have so many “in 6 months” and so much information inside of you that you lose track of how important it is to simply accept “what is” and really enjoy that “what is”.

Someone recently said to me “There’s no need to go to Disney World to be happy” --- wow, so true. I know that from experience, because Magic Kingdom, at Walt Disney World, is my next door neighbor. Happiness is an INSIDE job.

Now you understand how happiness is an INSIDE JOB, so let’s get back to the CONSTIPATION condition.

When we feel happy, we are in a very high vibration. Joy is one of the highest vibrations we can access, together with the vibrations of Love, Gratitude and Generosity. But, what it means to have a high vibration? For me it means when the body, mind and heart are aligned with our Being  bringing good and positive energy into our life. The good news is that this state can be cultivated.

If you start living your life by giving to others, you will notice how abundance will start to show up at your door bringing you happiness. Do service to others by doing things that bring more meaning, love and wisdom to your life.Happiness is not something that we pursue and obtain, happiness is a state of being that we need to practice. When we practice optimal living in our life by living our authentic purpose, having goals that inspire us and practicing optimism, then qualities of  self-awareness, self-acceptance and positive energy (required to take positive action) will become part of our daily routine in life and little by little you will notice that you will reach that GOOD VIBRATION in your body that you can call Happiness..... The CONSTIPATION will be improving because you will be able to nurture the state of mind necessary to do the INSIDE JOB.

So today, notice the things that you are doing daily that are giving you the condition of HAPPINESS CONSTIPATION --- notice, notice, notice -- and then nurture those that could bring the GOOD VIBRATION that will give you an authentic life. Trust me, the condition will be improved and your will find joy doing things that you never imagined.

Are you ready to improve your “HAPPINESS CONSTIPATION condition”?
Evelyn Torres is a Transformational Life Coach
Photo credit: David Castillo Dominici (

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Do you have the virtue of COURAGE in you?

“In order to Win, you have to Play with Fear” -- Coach Dave Buck

Wikipedia definition of courage:
Courage is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation. Physical courage is courage in the face of physical pain, hardship, death, or threat of death, while moral courage is the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal, or discouragement.

Recently, I was on a study group and the theme of discussion was “Stepping out of your comfort zone”. Initially I thought --- Why do we have to discuss this? Everybody, at least me, love to do things out of the comfort zone. Well, well, well.... how wrong I was. Even the most courageous people in history have experienced FEAR at some stage of their life and FEAR of FAILURE is what keeps us doing things that makes us feel good without taking any risks.

How many times we do not have the confidence to speak up and give our opinions on matters that are important and right for us? Do you stay on a relationship that is not fulfilling and only gives you uncertainty just because it gives you status or financial security? Are you on a job that is so boring that every morning is a punishment for you? Do you feel stuck in life just because taking any risk could make you look foolish if you fail?

Many times what keep us from moving out of our comfort zone is our own addiction to destructive thoughts that we keep repeating to ourselves--- “our inner conversations”. Our core beliefs saying to us “I am a loser” “I am stupid” “I am ugly” “I am old” “I am too young” “I always fail” “I am unlovable” “I am not smart”. Well, you get the picture..... I compare those destructive thoughts to our inner “ants”. Little-tiny things that exist and if you don’t learn how to control them they will bite you and will make your life miserable.

You have to understand that in order to start taking risk and move out of your comfort zone the only thing that you need to do is have the courage to TAKE ACTION. You could start by noticing every sensation you have in your body when you think about making changes in your life. Be aware of the feelings and you will develop the understanding of your FEAR ....that is AWARENESS. Once you are aware of the feeling of fear and the sensations that come with the fear, you have the first battle already under control because every time you confront fear, fear loses its power.

Then you will say to yourself, “What if I try and I fail?” That is the beauty of taking action with awareness of fear... you know that failing is a possibility but you know with the consciousness that comes with awareness that if failure comes knocking at your door it will be an opportunity to learn, improve and try again. By having the courage to let go of those beliefs that are keeping you on your comfort zone, you allow positive energy move you into action. You will know how to STOP PLAYING SAFE. We are all wired to avoid risk but only by stepping out of our comfort zone is where we can enjoy satisfaction, happiness and success. When we live like that, we understand how to adapt to changes while taking chances that are critical to enjoy any type of success.

We live in a very competitive world and if we have the courage to at least try to move out of the world we have always known, a new world full of surprises will be waiting to be discovered. Your courage to confront and face your feelings of fear will provide you the required awareness to move out of your comfort zone, in other words, you will check what is the best course of action and then go ahead and do what needs to be done. You have to stop playing safe because for things to change in your life you are required to take courageous action. It is great to be able to move through uncertainty with the required clarity that will allow smart risk-taking to produce your inspired results when you move toward your desired goals and dreams.

Be BOLD today and take the risk; you will discover beautiful things about yourself and about the world. Say to the “ants” inside of you “I have great potential, I have COURAGE!”.  Just take the risk of the first step, and you will make great discoveries.
Evelyn Torres is a Transformational Life Coach